I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
