I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
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His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize