Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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