id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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