So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
