I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
