Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Randomize
