well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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