I love having hate sex.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Everyone says I win the strip club
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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