He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
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its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
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I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
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