I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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