i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Drake has all the answers
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
