brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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