you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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