There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
