so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
He felt like a one man threesome
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
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