i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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