He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
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