idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
