it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
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can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
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Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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