I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
