I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
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