Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
