Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Randomize
