you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
