hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
