I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
i think my cat just said my name.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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