no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize