Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
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