Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Randomize
