I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize