doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
