she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
