I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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