Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
