Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Randomize
