You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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