Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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