omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize