I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
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