Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
Less talking, more tequila
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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