I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
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