Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
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