STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
