Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize