Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
