I'll bet she douches with gravy.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
