I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
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This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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