you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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