I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
So vagazzling was a success
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Randomize