Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize
