you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
