I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
We're too hungover to prance.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
