So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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