Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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