Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I got inside last night via doggy door
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
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