dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
