it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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