dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I just found puke in my bra..
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
