Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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