Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
