I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
