So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize