Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
